Why is Love Misunderstood and Hated in Indian society?
In Indian schools and society, love and relationships are often viewed as a "mistake" or even a "crime." This mindset not only impacts students' emotional growth but also distances them from understanding their own emotions. When something is suppressed instead of understood, it creates a cycle of fear, misunderstanding, and hate.
But is love wrong?
No. What's wrong is the way it is misunderstood and the societal biases imposed upon it. Let’s dive deeper into why this happens.
The Roots of Misunderstanding
1. Deep-Rooted Conservative Beliefs:
Our culture often views love and relationships as mature, marriage-centric concepts. Teenage love is dismissed as “useless attraction” or “childish infatuation.” However, this is the stage where individuals begin to explore their emotions and feelings. Labeling it as wrong during this crucial phase directly impacts their self-esteem and emotional development.
2. One-Sided Focus of Education:
Schools focus solely on academics and discipline, which are important, but they completely ignore another vital aspect of life—emotional intelligence. Treating relationships as distractions rather than understanding them makes the situation even more damaging for students.
3. Cultural Taboo:
In our society, openly talking about love and attraction is considered taboo. When parents and teachers themselves feel uncomfortable, what guidance can they provide to students? This silence and suppression lead to either misunderstandings or unhealthy coping mechanisms.
4. Element of Control and Fear:
Institutions fear that if students get involved in relationships, they will lose focus on their careers and studies. This fear-driven approach treats students’ emotions as a "problem" rather than addressing genuine concerns.
What’s the Real Problem?
Misunderstanding love is wrong, but misusing it, being deceitful, or mistaking physical attraction for true love are the actual problems. When schools and society suppress relationships:
1. Students fail to process their emotions properly:
During their first love or heartbreak, they either fall into guilt and self-doubt or handle it poorly.
2. They fail to understand values like trust and loyalty:
When schools only enforce rules without teaching the meaning of relationships, students either misuse relationships or adopt unhealthy patterns.
3. A cycle of hate and negativity begins:
When love is restricted instead of understood, values like trust and empathy weaken, and toxicity starts to grow in society.
A Healthier Approach: What Should Be Done?
If schools and society want to bring about positive change, they must adopt a new perspective on understanding and teaching love and relationships.
1. Teach the Importance of Trust and Loyalty:
Relationships are not just emotional bonds; they are also responsibilities. Trust and loyalty are the foundations of every relationship, and students must be taught that betrayal hurts not only others but also compromises their own values.
2. Develop Emotional Maturity:
Emotional maturity means understanding and respecting one’s own emotions as well as those of others. Students should be taught that physical attraction and true love are distinct and should be approached responsibly.
3. Encourage Healthy Communication:
Schools should conduct open and non-judgmental discussions on topics like love and relationships. When students feel safe sharing their doubts and feelings, they gain a better understanding of their emotions.
4. Explain the Difference Between Physical Needs and True Love:
Physical attraction is normal, but it doesn’t equate to love. True love involves:
Emotional compatibility
Mutual respect and care
A long-term and fulfilling connection
Emotional Perspective: Why This Matters
Imagine a 16-year-old student confused about their first crush. When they are labeled as wrong instead of being understood, they either suppress their emotions or express them in unhealthy ways. These suppressed emotions negatively impact their relationships and decisions in the future.
However, if they are guided to understand that exploring emotions is normal and are taught to build relationships based on trust, loyalty, and mutual respect, they can grow into a better individual and a better partner.
This is not just about one individual. When every student becomes emotionally mature and understanding, hate and toxicity in society can significantly decrease.
How Love Can Reduce Hate
Fewer instances of betrayal and heartbreak:
When students understand relationships, they value trust and loyalty.
Positivity replaces toxicity:
When relationships are approached healthily and respectfully, society fosters a culture of empathy and kindness.
A better society is created:
When people understand love and trust, conflicts and hate can reduce drastically.
A Vision for Change
My blog, 'The Love Lens,' aims to change this cycle. As long as schools and society treat love and relationships as taboo, the cycle of hate and toxicity will not end.
Love is not a crime. Love is a beautiful emotion that makes a person more compassionate, understanding, and kind. Only when we learn to respect and understand it can we move toward a better and happier society.